Next Steps

Since my last post I have spoken to my IFs and our agency coordinator. It was good to confirm we are all still on the same page regarding wanting to transfer their embryo and when. We are all still on board and they let me know that they are ready to go whenever I am!

I’m still on the “transfer end of Dec/early Jan” timeline which they said works fine for them. My body still needs a little more time to recover after 4 deliveries in 7 years lol I’m also hoping to avoid being pregnant during the holidays this time. After speaking to our coordinator and the IFs, we have decided to go ahead and start getting the ball rolling with all the stuff that needs to be done before we can start meds for a transfer.

When I texted our coordinator last week about when she thought would be a good time to get things going, I mentioned that my lawyer, while great at her job, can be slooooow to get things done. I’ve used her both times before and it is always weeks before she is able to look over the contract and discuss it. She is always VERY busy (because she is good at her job and in demand which is great, but…) and seems to do quite a bit of work related travel. I would assume that because this is the same IFs as last time we can just use the same contract and update it. In my mind that should make things go pretty quickly, but I don’t want to make that assumption and then be scrambling to try and get it done to start meds on time. However, I also know that not everyone is as type A as me so I didn’t want to sound like an alarmist or something, like we have to get this done right this second. I’m very happy with the plan to start getting things moving and being able to do things without worrying so much about the speed at which they’re getting done.

So, what things need to be done? Here are the things I think need to be done. I’ve never done a sibling journey before so I don’t know how different (if at all) this initial process is from a non sibling journey. We obviously get to skip all the matching stuff because we already know we’re a great match lol

I would imagine that there are at least a few steps that IFs need to take with the agency, (probably financial wise) before any of the steps that involve me that I won’t be party to. I have no idea how long those steps take or what they are because it’s not my business haha!

As far as steps that involve me…my medical records need to be gathered and sent to ORM again so that they include my most recent pregnancy and delivery. They’ll have to clear my records and give me the go ahead to go there for a medical screening appointment, same as last time.

I’m like 98% sure we will need another psych evaluation. There will be one for the hubs and I, one for IFs, then one all together. I would love it if we could skip this part just because everything is the same as is was when we did it two years ago. I mean it’s even better now that we know each other better and have a great relationship already. However, I have heard that these evals are only good for a year and fertility clinics usually require them in order to move forward.

Once both those things are done we would move on to contracts. Like I mentioned earlier, I would think that this could be a really quick process for us since we’ve done this together before. I don’t want to bank on that though because I’m not a lawyer and we’ve established that mine can move at her own pace lol I feel like our contract from last time was pretty solid and I can’t think of any changes that I would make. I can’t imagine that my IFs lawyer would send over their standard contract and not just update the one we used, but I couldn’t say that for sure. We will just have to see.

Once we have all that together I think we’re ready for transfer. Last time I was on meds for 6 weeks before transfer so anytime between when we get everything done and 6 weeks before a transfer date we’ll just be hanging out. I’m hoping that with getting things done early we’ll be able to have more of a choice for scheduling a transfer day. Appointments can be limited at the end of/beginning of the year so maybe being able to schedule early will be helpful…I have no idea. I tried to ask the clinic, but every time I ask them something through their general contact email (I had asked them another question about travel restrictions when we thought we might have to move our Hawaii trip to October) they skirt around the question and just say “The first step is for IFs to reach out and reestablish care” yeah, I know that and I specifically stated that we weren’t ready to dive in just yet, but I had a question. Is it so hard to answer what your holiday schedule is like? I was just wondering if they take time off at the end of the year or don’t schedule transfers then like some clinics, that was literally it lol

I’m excited to be starting to get things ready. I love being a GC and while I’m not ready to transfer just yet, all the other parts are exciting in their own way. I can’t tell you how happy I am that this is a sibling journey! I would have loved to do one for my first set of IFs, but it wasn’t in the cards for them. I’m very much looking forward to this and hoping so much that it all works out as smoothly as it did last time (minus the COVID stuff please!!)

I’m sure it’ll be a few weeks at least before anything involving me starts to move forward, but I’ll update when we get things going!

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