Since Wednesdays are usually the day I finally cave and text the agency to see where we’re at, it seems that’s usually when I’m writing an update.
Yesterday my contact at the agency posted in the agency’s surrogate Facebook page asking where everyone was in the process. I replied that I was currently working on matching for journey #2 (which she knows), and that I’m already contemplating a 3rd time if everything goes well this time around. She replied and said that I would be hearing from her soon. This was early in the morning so I had hoped that meant she was getting some things together and would be emailing me in a few hours. Fast forward to this morning, still nothing.
A week seems to be my limit in waiting for an update LOL so I texted her “Happy Wednesday! Just making my weekly check in 🙂 ” She texted me back immediately and said that she didn’t have a reply yet, but that she may have another couple in mind. She said they are one of her favorites (pretty sure they’re not supposed to have favorites haha! but I’m glad she’s honest about it!) They are an international same sex couple (yay!). Ok, that right off the bat makes me excited, here’s why…I adore accents haha! My last IFs were also some of the agency’s favorite IPs and that worked out really well. I told her that I did love the international thing the last time and that their favorites worked out really well for me last time so I would definitely be interested. She said she was going to send them an email so we’ll see how it goes. They use the same clinic as the other potential IFs do so we don’t need to wait for another review of my records.
I already feel better about this potential match and I’m not sure why. I wasn’t uneasy about the other potential IFs, at least I didn’t think I was. I felt more nervous about the clinic since it is considered one of the strictest, but this new couple uses the same clinic. I wasn’t worried about the fact that they were in the U.S or anything. I think I started out excited about the first potential match, but the longer it dragged on that feeling kind of faded. The fact that they still haven’t gotten back to the agency with an answer makes me want to pass on them. I know that sounds harsh and there could be 100 reasons why they haven’t given an answer yet, but I know that I’m ready to get this show on the road now. With my previous IFs they were pretty immediate in their response and I was immediate in mine, like we just knew. I understand that this is a different match and each journey is different, but I feel like I want someone who “knows” if they’re debating my profile and hemming and hawing then I don’t think it’s the match for me. I want a match that is as eager to get this journey started as I am and knows what they want and don’t want. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think those first potential IPs don’t deserve a surrogate or wouldn’t be a good match for someone else, I just don’t think they’re the right match for me. It’s impossible to overstate how important “the right match” is in a surrogacy situation. Taking the time to make sure that all parties mesh well together and are on the same page can save so many headaches down the road.
I’m really hoping this couple is a little faster in the decision making department. I’m going to try and wait until next Wednesday before I bug the agency again. I told her today that I make up for all my neediness in the beginning by pretty much never bugging them when I’m pregnant haha! But I just have to get to this point first.
It’s funny because during my last journey, albeit after the match was made, I had the universe throw me a couple signs that things were going to go well. The first was a pineapple shirt right before my medical screening and the second was a pineapple necklace that appeared just a couple weeks before the transfer. Pineapples are considered lucky in the surrogacy world so finding these two things right before major milestones seemed like fate. Completely illogically I’ve already been waiting for “signs” this time around, which I’m pretty sure isn’t how they work. They can’t be looked for, but will come when the time is right. Considering that I didn’t find that pineapple shirt until well after we had matched I wondered why I was stressing so much about not having a “sign” already when I don’t even have a match meeting scheduled! However, when she mentioned that this new couple was international, it felt right because of my former IFs. I have thought since I had surro babe last fall that it will be so hard to find IPs that live up to the amazingness of my first ones. It’s completely unfair to compare, but if you had a perfect first journey with incredible IFs it would be near impossible not to measure by those standards. So for this new couple to be another same sex international couple is just enough of a connection that it feels good to my heart. We’ll see how it ends up panning out and I may have no idea what I’m talking about, but usually my gut is pretty spot on. We shall see…