Wednesday Update

Since Wednesdays are usually the day I finally cave and text the agency to see where we’re at, it seems that’s usually when I’m writing an update.

Yesterday my contact at the agency posted in the agency’s surrogate Facebook page asking where everyone was in the process. I replied that I was currently working on matching for journey #2 (which she knows), and that I’m already contemplating a 3rd time if everything goes well this time around. She replied and said that I would be hearing from her soon. This was early in the morning so I had hoped that meant she was getting some things together and would be emailing me in a few hours. Fast forward to this morning, still nothing.

A week seems to be my limit in waiting for an update LOL so I texted her “Happy Wednesday! Just making my weekly check in 🙂 ” She texted me back immediately and said that she didn’t have a reply yet, but that she may have another couple in mind. She said they are one of her favorites (pretty sure they’re not supposed to have favorites haha! but I’m glad she’s honest about it!) They are an international same sex couple (yay!). Ok, that right off the bat makes me excited, here’s why…I adore accents haha!  My last IFs were also some of the agency’s favorite IPs and that worked out really well. I told her that I did love the international thing the last time and that their favorites worked out really well for me last time so I would definitely be interested. She said she was going to send them an email so we’ll see how it goes. They use the same clinic as the other potential IFs do so we don’t need to wait for another review of my records.

I already feel better about this potential match and I’m not sure why. I wasn’t uneasy about the other potential IFs, at least I didn’t think I was. I felt more nervous about the clinic since it is considered one of the strictest, but this new couple uses the same clinic. I wasn’t worried about the fact that they were in the U.S or anything. I think I started out excited about the first potential match, but the longer it dragged on that feeling kind of faded. The fact that they still haven’t gotten back to the agency with an answer makes me want to pass on them. I know that sounds harsh and there could be 100 reasons why they haven’t given an answer yet, but I know that I’m ready to get this show on the road now. With my previous IFs they were pretty immediate in their response and I was immediate in mine, like we just knew. I understand that this is a different match and each journey is different, but I feel like I want someone who “knows” if they’re debating my profile and hemming and hawing then I don’t think it’s the match for me. I want a match that is as eager to get this journey started as I am and knows what they want and don’t want. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think those first potential IPs don’t deserve a surrogate or wouldn’t be a good match for someone else, I just don’t think they’re the right match for me. It’s impossible to overstate how important “the right match” is in a surrogacy situation. Taking the time to make sure that all parties mesh well together and are on the same page can save so many headaches down the road.

I’m really hoping this couple is a little faster in the decision making department. I’m going to try and wait until next Wednesday before I bug the agency again. I told her today that I make up for all my neediness in the beginning by pretty much never bugging them when I’m pregnant haha! But I just have to get to this point first.

It’s funny because during my last journey, albeit after the match was made, I had the universe throw me a couple signs that things were going to go well. The first was a pineapple shirt  right before my medical screening and the second was a pineapple necklace that appeared just a couple weeks before the transfer. Pineapples are considered lucky in the surrogacy world so finding these two things right before major milestones seemed like fate. Completely illogically I’ve already been waiting for “signs” this time around, which I’m pretty sure isn’t how they work. They can’t be looked for, but will come when the time is right. Considering that I didn’t find that pineapple shirt until well after we had matched I wondered why I was stressing so much about not having a “sign” already when I don’t even have a match meeting scheduled! However, when she mentioned that this new couple was international, it felt right because of my former IFs. I have thought since I had surro babe last fall that it will be so hard to find IPs that live up to the amazingness of my first ones. It’s completely unfair to compare, but if you had a perfect first journey with incredible IFs it would be near impossible not to measure by those standards. So for this new couple to be another same sex international couple is just enough of a connection that it feels good to my heart. We’ll see how it ends up panning out and I may have no idea what I’m talking about, but usually my gut is pretty spot on. We shall see…

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The “P” Word

Patience is the name of the game…and it’s a game I’m not great at. Once again I’m just here waiting, but wanted to give a little update. As I had mentioned (I think) I had been hoping the prospective IFs would get my profile Monday after I sent in the one document I needed to. That afternoon the agency contact (N) told me that my profile should be that day or the next and then they would send it out. She told me she would let me know when it was sent out. Fast forward to today (Wednesday), I hadn’t heard anything about it being sent out so I went ahead and texted N to see if something was missing in my profile since it hadn’t been sent yet. She let me know that it was approved, but that one of the IFs is out of town on a business trip until at least Friday so they are waiting to send my profile until he returns.

Poor N, I bug her so much for updates I’m sure it drives her batty, but she hides it well LOL I try to give everything a couple days because I know they are a large agency that handles a lot of IPs and GCs, but honestly a couple days without an update is all I can handle before I ask. Like I’ve said 100 times, patience is hard for me! Reading through my blog posts from last time though, I was way more obnoxious that time LOL I emailed them all the time, probably because I had no idea how the process went and there was more to do last time. So I’m hoping that I’ll hear something by next Monday or Tuesday. I will try to wait until next Wednesday to bug N again if I don’t hear anything by then, but can’t promise I won’t send her a text on Tuesday afternoon 😉 Thankfully we have another busy weekend to pass the time!

 

Pre Approval

I got the email just a little while ago that the clinic that had been reviewing my medical records has given me pre approval. What does that mean? It basically means there’s no red flags in my records and I am able okay to go in for a medical clearance appointment. However, before I can do that my profile needs to be updated, reviewed by the IPs my agency has in mind, we have to have a Skype meeting, then decide that we want to be matched and proceed. So this pre approval is just the beginning, but it is one thing checked off the list.

I don’t think the agency will send my profile to the IPs until next week because we have a document that we need to add and we don’t have access to it right now as we are camping at the coast. It would be great if they could get it to the potential IPs by Monday afternoon (after we send them the document) and if the IPs could decide by Tuesday afternoon or early Wednesday we may be able to do the Skype meeting Thursday otherwise we may have to wait until the next Thursday since that’s the only time I’m home and kid free.

Until next time enjoy some pictures of the kids fishing and Wyatt’s salamander he caught 🤣🤣

Maybe I’m Not As Patient As I Thought

I was doing really well. I gave the OB’s office almost a week before I called to see if my records were ready LOL In my defense it only took them a day last time so I was curious what the hold up was. I wasn’t rude or anything (I work in the office part of a dental office and I know how some people treat office administration peeps). She said that it would be a couple more days before they were ready which I let her know what totally fine. Lo and behold she got them done that day. Sometimes a friendly reminder isn’t a bad thing, but please don’t ever ever ever be rude and demanding when you do that because the person on the other end is just a person trying to do their job. They may be absolutely swamped or be having a rough day. Maybe they usually have help, but are having to handle everything themselves. Plain and simple, please be nice 🙂 Thank you for listening to this PSA!

I picked them up that afternoon then came back to the office to borrow the scanner so I could forward them to my agency contact. When I pulled them out of the envelope one of the girls I work with looked at the stack and said “that’s what you have to scan?? That’s so many pages!” I laughed…that’s what happens when you’ve had 3 babies, you end up with a nice thick OB records. These records actually don’t even include my first pregnancy because my OB switched offices and those records ended up with a different doctor whose office never got back to me when I tried to track down that info. Luckily I didn’t need it since I had had another pregnancy, hopefully they don’t need them this time either.

I scanned them (in 3 separate sections because the scanner couldn’t handle them all at once) and emailed them to the agency. I received an email the next morning that they had been sent to the clinic and we should hear back in a couple days on whether the clinic cleared me to go ahead with medical screening. If they do then the agency will update my profile and share it with the IPs they have in mind for me. If they like what they see I think the agency will give me more info about them. Last time it included pictures of the couple and a sweet letter they had written to tell me more about them. After that should be a Skype call to see if we want to move forward together. If they don’t like my profile the agency will work on finding me another potential set of IPs.

I don’t know why, but I went from being all calm, cool, and collected to wanting to get this show on the road, like now! I think it had something to do with going back to my OBs office, which is across the parking lot from the hospital birth center where I was just 7 months ago delivering a little girl into the arms of her dads who had waited so long and went through so much to have her. It brought back so many memories and emotions that it made me so excited to be on this path again and to get things moving forward.

I was really hoping that by some miracle we’d hear back from the clinic today, but I doubt that will happen. Even if they did get back to the agency today it would have to be by 2pm because the agency is on the East Coast so they’re 3 hours ahead of us. I’m banking on hearing back on Monday, if it’s later than that I will be going crazy waiting….so not as patient as I thought I was being! In my defense it is a really exciting thing and I’ve always been terrible about waiting for anything I want.

We have some fun stuff going on this weekend so hopefully it will keep me from dwelling on this too much for the next couple days (I’m not usually looking forward to Mondays, but for this I’ll make an exception).

While I will definitely be disappointed if the clinic denies me, I hate being in limbo and just want to know one way or the other. A denial won’t be the end of the road. There are still plenty of clinics that will be willing to work with me we just have to find the right couple using one of those clinics.

Happy Friday to all!