Next Steps

Since my last post I have spoken to my IFs and our agency coordinator. It was good to confirm we are all still on the same page regarding wanting to transfer their embryo and when. We are all still on board and they let me know that they are ready to go whenever I am!

I’m still on the “transfer end of Dec/early Jan” timeline which they said works fine for them. My body still needs a little more time to recover after 4 deliveries in 7 years lol I’m also hoping to avoid being pregnant during the holidays this time. After speaking to our coordinator and the IFs, we have decided to go ahead and start getting the ball rolling with all the stuff that needs to be done before we can start meds for a transfer.

When I texted our coordinator last week about when she thought would be a good time to get things going, I mentioned that my lawyer, while great at her job, can be slooooow to get things done. I’ve used her both times before and it is always weeks before she is able to look over the contract and discuss it. She is always VERY busy (because she is good at her job and in demand which is great, but…) and seems to do quite a bit of work related travel. I would assume that because this is the same IFs as last time we can just use the same contract and update it. In my mind that should make things go pretty quickly, but I don’t want to make that assumption and then be scrambling to try and get it done to start meds on time. However, I also know that not everyone is as type A as me so I didn’t want to sound like an alarmist or something, like we have to get this done right this second. I’m very happy with the plan to start getting things moving and being able to do things without worrying so much about the speed at which they’re getting done.

So, what things need to be done? Here are the things I think need to be done. I’ve never done a sibling journey before so I don’t know how different (if at all) this initial process is from a non sibling journey. We obviously get to skip all the matching stuff because we already know we’re a great match lol

I would imagine that there are at least a few steps that IFs need to take with the agency, (probably financial wise) before any of the steps that involve me that I won’t be party to. I have no idea how long those steps take or what they are because it’s not my business haha!

As far as steps that involve me…my medical records need to be gathered and sent to ORM again so that they include my most recent pregnancy and delivery. They’ll have to clear my records and give me the go ahead to go there for a medical screening appointment, same as last time.

I’m like 98% sure we will need another psych evaluation. There will be one for the hubs and I, one for IFs, then one all together. I would love it if we could skip this part just because everything is the same as is was when we did it two years ago. I mean it’s even better now that we know each other better and have a great relationship already. However, I have heard that these evals are only good for a year and fertility clinics usually require them in order to move forward.

Once both those things are done we would move on to contracts. Like I mentioned earlier, I would think that this could be a really quick process for us since we’ve done this together before. I don’t want to bank on that though because I’m not a lawyer and we’ve established that mine can move at her own pace lol I feel like our contract from last time was pretty solid and I can’t think of any changes that I would make. I can’t imagine that my IFs lawyer would send over their standard contract and not just update the one we used, but I couldn’t say that for sure. We will just have to see.

Once we have all that together I think we’re ready for transfer. Last time I was on meds for 6 weeks before transfer so anytime between when we get everything done and 6 weeks before a transfer date we’ll just be hanging out. I’m hoping that with getting things done early we’ll be able to have more of a choice for scheduling a transfer day. Appointments can be limited at the end of/beginning of the year so maybe being able to schedule early will be helpful…I have no idea. I tried to ask the clinic, but every time I ask them something through their general contact email (I had asked them another question about travel restrictions when we thought we might have to move our Hawaii trip to October) they skirt around the question and just say “The first step is for IFs to reach out and reestablish care” yeah, I know that and I specifically stated that we weren’t ready to dive in just yet, but I had a question. Is it so hard to answer what your holiday schedule is like? I was just wondering if they take time off at the end of the year or don’t schedule transfers then like some clinics, that was literally it lol

I’m excited to be starting to get things ready. I love being a GC and while I’m not ready to transfer just yet, all the other parts are exciting in their own way. I can’t tell you how happy I am that this is a sibling journey! I would have loved to do one for my first set of IFs, but it wasn’t in the cards for them. I’m very much looking forward to this and hoping so much that it all works out as smoothly as it did last time (minus the COVID stuff please!!)

I’m sure it’ll be a few weeks at least before anything involving me starts to move forward, but I’ll update when we get things going!


Well Hello There

So it’s been a hot minute since I sat down to write anything. I had to go back and see what the last thing I posted about even was. I’m still here, we’re just chugging along in life.

Winter was rough here because COVID cases kept the kids out of school much longer than we expected. My son’s basketball got cancelled as cases rose and indoor sports were no longer allowed. It was a relatively mild winter without a ton of snow so there were days that were nice enough to go to a park or on a walk in the woods, but there was still a lot of pent up kid energy in our house

We had to reschedule our Maui/Kauai trip that was supposed to be at the end of December to a Big Island trip in March. We were very wary about if we’d be able to go or not. We knew we would need to all have negative COVID tests in the days before we flew out and we would need another one at the airport in Kona when we arrived. I’m so happy to be able to say that it all worked out and we got to spend 12 days in our happy place with my parents and my in laws. The kids were in absolute heaven. It was the best mental health boost we have had since last summer. I know people have varying opinions on recreational travel right now. I’m not going to debate it, but I will say that we were very careful. The kids went to virtual learning before and after the trip so we could quarantine. Our area had really low case numbers at the time. We wore masks whenever we were around people outside our household. We had fully vaccinated and partially vaccinated members in our party. If I ever would have felt that we were exposing people to COVID or anything like that we wouldn’t have gone. I don’t want it to seem like we take COVID lightly, we don’t. We made our decision knowing that the chance of us spreading it would be almost zero. I don’t think it’s going anywhere anytime soon so we’re learning to navigate a new normal.

Since we’ve been back my son started spring soccer. My daughter has resumed her tap dance classes. They are back to in person school which they love. The weather is getting better so we can be outside more. We were so ready for spring and are definitely looking forward to summer.

As far as a surrogacy update…I’m enjoying the time off at the moment. I haven’t discussed a second journey with my last IFs any further since we talked before and after surro babe #2 was born last year. At that time we had talked about trying for a transfer in early 2022. I’m still going with that timeline, but will probably touch base with them about it in the next few months. We don’t really need to do much until late summer I don’t think. Hopefully things can be semi quick since we’ve done this together before.

Speaking of IFs and surro babe #2…they still keep in touch pretty frequently. They send pictures and tell me what they’ve been up to. I love seeing them all together enjoying life together. I’m probably biased, but their daughter is adorable and seems to love their travels and adventures. I can’t believe she’s 10 months old today! She’s going to be 1 before we know it!

I hear from my first IFs and surro babe #1 pretty often too. She is getting so big and will be 3 in Sept. I love hearing her little voice on the videos they send. She also seems to enjoy a good adventure and being outdoors. I’m so glad that they’ve decided to keep in touch. I hope someday that the hubs and I are able to make it over to where they live for a visit, it would be great to see them all in person again…plus I’ve always wanted to visit the UK!

Surro Babe #1 She’s so stinking cute!

So that’s what we’ve been up to. We have some camping trips scheduled this summer. I’m excited that people are getting vaccinated and am looking forward to my husband being able to get his shots soon. I had both of mine earlier this year. That will just make me feel more comfortable as he can sometimes have allergy or exercise induce asthma. I’m hoping that people continue to get vaccinated and maybe we can gain some small sense of normalcy. I’m want to have our big family get togethers again and hug people again…although I’m not gonna lie, I’m good with continuing the 6ft away from people, the ones I don’t know at least. I also wouldn’t hate if people wore masks when they’re sick during cold and flu season, but we all know that’s not going to happen.

It will probably be awhile before another update so I hope you all enjoy your spring/summer…unless you’re in the southern hemisphere, then I hope you enjoy your fall and that winter treats you kindly 🙂