New Transfer Date

This morning I went in for my blood work. I was never really told what was supposed a be happening or what they were looking for. I knew the trigger shot 2 weeks ago was supposed to make me ovulate. I figured they would be looking for me to start a period around 14 days after that as that’s what would happen in a natural cycle after ovulation. I had spotting about about a week ago for 5ish days that was sometimes heavier, but that was it. When CD 1 didn’t show up at the end of this week I started to worry that the bleeding was actually my cycle starting and that by the time the blood work rolled around this morning my estrogen level would already be on the climb again. I tried all the tricks I know to start my cycle, but nothing worked.

This morning while I waited for the results I tried not to get my hopes up. At least I would know one way or another. I expected my levels to be like 200 because that’s just how it seems like things are going. As a reminder, they want under 70 to start the delestrogen injections. I figured if the spotting I had last week was actually my cycle starting that at this point my estrogen levels would be on the rise.

I didn’t have to wait too long for the results from the lab. I got the alert that I had a new test result in my patient portal. I half chuckled and said to myself “watch it be like 250 or something.” I opened it up and there it was 31.2…um, what? I’ve never even seen it that low before. So now my head was spinning a bit. It was definitely below the 70 cutoff, but was it now too low? I suspected we might actually be okay and able to resume the cycle, but I truly had no idea and knew I would have to wait until about 3:30pm to find out.

I got a text message at 3:30pm welcoming me to two way texting with the clinic. I didn’t know if that was just a random generic thing or if they would be following up with the update that way. A minute later another message came through saying that it was our coordinator. She said my results today looked great and would I be available on May 18th for a transfer…uh, duh of course! I obviously didn’t answer that way πŸ˜† but I let her know that I could absolutely make it work. The she followed up with instructions to start .2ml delestrogen tonight and let me know that she would be getting me a new calendar either this afternoon or tomorrow. As it’s currently almost 11pm, I’m going to guess that I’ll have it tomorrow. I asked if I needed to start Lupron again, but she said no. I’m a little nervous that without the Lupron I might start making bigger follicles again and ovulate before the transfer, but I have to trust that they know what they’re doing. There’s nothing I can do, but follow their directions.

The injection tonight went perfect. I had the hubs do it because it’s just easier and faster. I imagine my next one will be Monday as they usually do Mondays and Fridays for the delestrogen injections. Hopefully I don’t have to wait too long for the calendar. I like to know what’s coming up.

So here we are with the transfer only pushed back 2 weeks as of now. I have my fingers and toes crossed that the rest of this cycle goes smoother than the beginning 🀞🏼🀞🏼

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Ultrasound Results

After a lot of back and forth the week of the 11th and some frustration with the clinic’s scheduling department, I ended up at the clinic Friday afternoon for an ultrasound.

It was with a doctor I had never met and I wasn’t sure he even knew why I was there. I don’t think he made eye contact with me once during the entire appointment. He barely spoke to me either, it was strange. He came in and said something like “let’s see how your lining looks”. I wasn’t there for a lining check, but I didn’t say anything since they check ovaries during lining checks and that’s what we needed. He measured my lining and it was around 7.5mm or something. I could tell by his comments that he thought I was there for a regular lining check. So I told him what was going on. That my estrogen had been high even after my cycle started and that they wanted to see if there were any cysts on my ovaries that could be causing the high levels. I explained that I hadn’t been on delestrogen yet and he said that was odd because my lining looked like I had been. He seemed confused by the cyst comment though. He kept saying that there were follicular cysts and one was 14+mm which would be creating estrogen, but he didn’t know what I meant by cysts on my ovaries. I didn’t press the issue further as I knew my actual doctor would review and get back to me. Without looking at me he said that they would get the results to me either that evening or the next day.

My husband had taken the kids to a nearby park while they waited so I let him know I was ready. He came and got me and we headed to my parents house where we were staying for the weekend. On the way there I got a phone call from the clinic coordinator that our doctor had reviewed everything and they wanted me to pick up a trigger shot the next day and take it. Then I would go in two weeks later for blood work. The trigger shot was to make me ovulate since there was a larger follicle presents. That should reset my cycle and we can start new. She said that the transfer would be pushed out 4-6 weeks, but that we were making up time by doing the trigger shot. I went to the pharmacy the next morning and did the injection in the parking lot πŸ˜†

We had a great holiday weekend and enjoyed spending time with family that we hadn’t see in awhile.

About 5 days ago I started spotting. It’s been going on since then which is very out of the ordinary for me, but since this cycle has been wacky I’m not worried about it. I have my blood work at the end of this week and we’ll go from there. I’m trying not to think about it much or plan ahead because I have no idea what will happen.

We have a trip to Mexico planned next Spring Break and I can’t be pregnant when we go due to contracts and zika. That means that the latest we can transfer is about June 14 as that would give me a due date at the beginning of March and we would leave a few weeks later. If it was just us going or just us and our parents, postponing it wouldn’t be a big deal. However, my brother and his wife and daughter plus our friends and their two kids are going. So now we’ve got multiple school aged kids that are going and we have to work around their school schedules. Spring Break is the only time everyone’s schedules line up so postponing isn’t really an option. I never thought to mention it before because I didn’t fathom months ago that it would take so long for another transfer. I also definitely didn’t anticipate the cycle itself going any different that it has the other 3 times. Now I feel awful that it may become an issue because my body won’t get with the program.

With all that is going on and not having any control over any of it I’ve been working really hard to try not to stress about it. I can’t do anything about any of it really except follow the doctors orders and hope that it works out. We don’t have to have the conversation about next March yet so I’m trying not to stress about it now. If it gets into June and we have to address it, we will do it then. There’s no use in worrying about it now.

That’s where we’re at right now. I’m pretty sure we need my cycle to start this week so we can start over. I’ve been hoping that with all the spotting that it would be on it’s way, but I have no idea anymore. One day at a time. Next update will probably be next week, hopefully with good news 🀞🏼🀞🏼

Whomp Whomp

And just like that this cycle hits a road block.

I had thought I updated last week when CD1 rolled around, but I see that I, in fact, did not so lets back up a touch.

The hubs had back surgery on Monday so I took the week off of work to be at home in case he needed anything. CD1 showed up right on time on Tuesday. I went in for my first blood draw on Thursday. I had hoped that since they moved my last BCP up two days and my blood draw up just one day that my estrogen level would be low enough the first time and I wouldn’t have to go back for another check.

Unfortunately that is not what happened. I went in Thursday hoping my level would be at least in the 70s if not lower. Nope, it was 112. Dang. Highest it’s ever been for this draw. Got the message that afternoon that it was high (per usual for me) and that I should go back in on Monday (today for another check). This was a little different in that usually they check a day or two later, not 4. It made me more anxious just because that was a long time to not know what was going on.

Roll around to today….all the nerves this morning. I think deep down I knew something wasn’t right. The extra high number on Thursday even after the longer wait time between CD1 and the blood work had me on edge. It just didn’t feel right.

I went in this morning and had my blood drawn then settled in for a wait. I get my results in my lab’s patient portal long before the clinic calls/messages about them. I didn’t have to wait all that long them them. When I got the message about a new test result I held my breath and scrolled down….117. Crap.

I messaged out agency coordinator as she had emailed me a good luck email in the am. Then I messaged the IFs. Usually I let the clinic update them on the results. This time I didn’t want them to wait all day just for bad news.

I knew I wouldn’t hear from the clinic until later afternoon so I sat in the disappointment for the next several hours wondering what would come next. My guess was an ultrasound to check for a cyst on my ovaries that could be producing estrogen and making my levels stay high.

Around 3:30 I started getting anxious and just ready to get the official news. Just put me out of my misery already. By 4:15 I was very anxious and wondering if they were even going to remember to contact me to tell me not to start my delestrogen injections tonight. I knew they would have to review the results with the doctor and come up with a plan, but they’ve had the results since this morning. I think they put off these bad news calls until the very last minute of the day because nobody wants to make them and nobody wants to receive them. The thing is I already know. I already know the results and have a pretty good idea what it means so the waiting is just anxiety inducing for type A’s like myself.

Finally just before 5pm I emailed our clinic coordinator because I needed to know what to do with my meds. I knew not to start the delestrogen, but needed to know if I should still take the Lupron or not. She emailed me back soon after and said that she was waiting to hear back from the doctor regarding the next step. She said not to start the delestrogen (which I knew) and to take 10u of the Lupron. I was supposed to drop down to 5u, she just had be stay on the previous dose amount. She said I may need to go in for an ultrasound (I’m thinking this is pretty much a guarantee) and asked if I was available on Wednesday. I let her know that I am, but that getting into our local imaging center on short notice can be hit and miss (this is a nice way to put it, the chance of getting in the next few days is almost zero unfortunately). She said she would let me know as soon as possible.

So that’s where we’re at…in limbo. I’m trying not to stress about it, but I’m pretty frustrated that my body isn’t cooperating. I’m working hard to take it in stride and tell myself that things are going to work out how they’re supposed to. I can’t go to the what ifs, I have to just take it a day at a time. I knew I had it easy the first two times around. In my surrogacy Facebook groups I saw cycles canceled, transfers fail, and a myriad of other things that delayed or halted journeys. I counted myself lucky that my first two transfers worked and resulted in happy, healthy babies. I know things like this happen in journeys all the time, now it’s just my turn. It’ll be fine. We’ll get it figured out and deal with whatever comes next.