I have been so nervous about this day, way more so than I was with the ultrasounds for my own kids. There’s so much invested here. You’ve got three people who want this so much, not to mention the family and friends who surround all of us and are praying and sending good vibes. I don’t know why I put so much on this particular ultrasound. At the one three weeks ago we saw a heartbeat which was great, but it was still just a blob. Since the imaging center no longer listens to the heartbeat, they just measure it, it seemed kind of surreal. So without further ado here’s how it went….
It went great LOL She’s perfect, measuring on track with a heartbeat of 171 (still didn’t get to actually hear it though). I could see her little heart beating and she was wiggling around. I didn’t see the heartbeat at first, but she was wiggling so I knew she was okay. The tech had to show me on the screen where the heart was. It was so tiny that I totally missed it. Laying there watching this little girl dance around got me a little verklempt. I’m just so excited for her dads. She has no way of knowing it, but she is already so loved.
It’s a different feeling watching an ultrasound of a baby in my uterus that I have no maternal feeling towards. It’s not bad or anything, just different. I feel more like an aunt or something. Obviously I care about her and want the best for her, but I’m not her mother and I have no desire to be. She has two amazing dads that are going to love and adore her. People tend to say things like “I could never give up my baby” or “I don’t know how you can give up your baby” when surrogacy is mentioned. The thing is surrogates go into this knowing these are not our babies. We’re not giving them up, we’re giving them back to families who want them so badly and have waited so long. One of the things most surrogates look forward to the most is the moment the IPs (intended parents) see their baby (babies) for the first time. We’ve all been through it with our own kids and helping someone else experience that moment is an amazing thing. Obviously I haven’t made it that far yet, but thoughts of what it might be like are part of the reason I decided to do this.
Now it’s time for…
How far along: 10 weeks 1 day
How big is baby: about an inch or the size of an Eastern Tailed-Blue Butterfly (one of the apps I have let’s you choose what you want the size compared to, I chose animals LOL)
IVF meds: Estradiol 2mg 3x a day. 1cc of PIO each evening.
Symptoms: fatigue, nausea has been manageable. It comes and goes. I had a really rough patch Thursday afternoon and this morning, but thankfully they were short lived.
Sleep: it’s been okay. I think the unisom I take at night to help with the nausea makes me sleep crappy.
Miss anything? Not being nauseous and having food actually sound good
Food cravings? watermelon, cantaloupe, apples w/ caramel, carrots and ranch, cucumbers. Last night I had the first real dinner I’ve eaten in weeks. It was steak, pasta salad, and green salad. It was delicious, but I ate too much and got super bloated.
Anything making you queasy or sick? not drinking enough water. This seems to make the difference in how my day goes. Not enough water the day before and I’m super nauseous all day.
Best moment of the week? Having was weather this weekend and getting to be outside to enjoy it
Next appointment: ultrasound on 2/12, it seems like it’s been so long! I’m definitely ready to make sure everything looks good in there.