A comment on my last post got me thinking that if I want this blog to help other GCs (gestational carriers) or potential GCs I should mention what an intro meeting consists of and some of the questions I’ll be asking these potential IPs (intended parents).
Before the intro call is scheduled the IPs have looked at my profile that the agency has put together and decided they want to “meet” me. They have also written me a letter telling me a little bit about themselves and I have decided I want to “meet” them.
Prior to the video meeting they know a lot more about me than I do about them. That may sound odd, but they actually need to know a lot more about me. They need to know my pregnancy history, where I live, how much I make at my job, how much my husband makes at his job, they read info from my references, and they also would have received the information from the home visit the agency conducted prior to my last surrogacy journey. Why do they need all this info? Because I’ll be carrying their child and they want to know that my previous pregnancies went well and what sort of issues, if any I had. They also will be paying my lost wages and my husbands for any time off work we miss and they need to know if that’s something they can afford. They also need to know that I live in clean, safe place as their child will be spending 9+ months with me there. The references offer them piece of mind that I’m not some crazy person LOL
For me I don’t need that much information. In the letter they wrote they let me know where they live, how long they’ve been together, why they want children, and that they have supportive families. I don’t need all the extra information because it’s not my child so all I need to know is that this baby is wanted and will be loved which their letter let me know. The other information I get beforehand is what fertility clinic they use so I know where I’ll have to travel, if they embryos ready to go, and if those embryos have been tested for chromosomal abnormalities, and that they are willing to make more embryos if needed.
Everything else we get to learn about each other in the meeting. Last go around I really had no idea what I wanted to know at the intro meeting. This time I have a more detailed list. The meeting is moderated by our case manager so she will cover a lot of the basics (how we met spouses, what our families are like, what sort of relationship we want before, during, and after pregnancy, how many embryos I’m willing to transfer [just one!], and how much involvement they want in the pregnancy)
Here’s my list of questions for the meeting
- How many trips here do they think they want to make before/during pregnancy? (Do they want to be there for transfer, ultrasounds, any other appointments?)
- I will let them know that my imaging clinic doesn’t allow video chats or videos and make sure that they are okay with that.
- Do they think they will want to do video chats or just emails/FB messenger?
- Are they okay with an elective induction between 40-41 weeks or would they prefer to wait for spontaneous labor? (elective is my preference, but I’m not set on it if they have other preferences)
- Do they want to be in the room during labor? What about delivery? Are they squeamish?
- Do they want more than one child? If they want a sibling journey do they have a timeline in mind?
- Do they have any special requests outside of the normal “follow RE and OB instructions”? Like special diet, limited activity, acupuncture, more bed rest after transfer than RE says?
- Are they comfortable with me using acupuncture, chiropractic care, and massage during the pregnancy?
- If I feel comfortable enough at the end I may ask if they know the sex of the embryos and if they know which one they want to transfer first
That’s my list for now…I may have something to add later or the discussion tomorrow may prompt another question or two.
Just a little over 24 hours until I “meet” these guys!